Chapter 7: All Alone

I was never the one to cry so I didn’t shed a tear. Battling my emotions, I opened the glass door of the hospital and ran to where the lady with computers and telephones was sitting.

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you tell me which room Mushin Houshi is kept in?” I asked, breathing heavily from all that running I had done to reach the hospital from my house.

“Wait just a minute, I’m telling.” She took off her eyes from me and put them on the computer screen. The blue and green reflections played on her glasses and after one minute or so she replied, “Room 101, 3rd floor.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled as I dashed towards the elevator.

Pressing the blue button, I opened the elevator door and entered. Some more pressing of keys and I was all the way up to the third floor.

The room right opposite to the elevator was numbered 90 and the one to its right was 91. Not waiting for any other direction specific clues, I walked with quick strides towards the farthest point of the corridor.

Without paying any heed to whoever might be inside, I pushed open the door. There were three people other than my father. From appearance, one seemed to be the doctor and the other two nurses. The man in apron walked up to me.

“You’re the doctor?” I asked gruffly.

“I am...and you might be...?”

“Miroku Houshi,” I replied, and after a few more moments I added: “He’s my father...”

“Thank God you came. Now listen carefully. This is about your father’s condition.” He took some papers from the nurse and after giving a look through, he began, “He sustained grave injuries in his skull and neck. Limbs are okay, only minor bruises but...”

“But what, Doctor?” I interrupted.

“There’s a clot inside his skull, it must be removed before it gets any worse.”

“You mean operation?”

“Yes.” He nodded in the affirmative. “We don’t have much time. He’ll regain consciousness in awhile and we have to make him unconscious again and then start the operation.”

“Doctor, prepare for the operation without delay. I’ll bring whatever amount of money that might be needed.”

“Good.” He turned to a nurse and whispered something to her to which she nodded in reply.

I wasn’t out of the room yet. I was standing in the centre of the room and from there I could see how pale my father had become. Anyone from a farther place could’ve mistaken him for dead.

There might have been a knock at the door for the doctor and the nurses went towards it. I wasn’t bothered about that.

Slowly I walked up to my father. The man was literally wound in thin pipes. A channel was dug into the veins of his right wrist and that was connected to a saline bottle. He had some pipes around his mouth as well. I didn’t know the use of that though. In a word his condition was miserable and seeing his state, I couldn’t fight back the tears anymore.

“Are you crying, Miroku?”

“Huh? You’re awake?” I moved closer to the pale man. He spoke so softly that I could barely hear. He was so weak that he couldn’t even talk properly, leave alone the slightest of movements.

“Listen carefully to what I’m saying...”

“Yeah tell.” I moved more close to his face and leaned forward to hear what he was saying.

“Don’t cry for me. I’m not your real father.”

That one line was a bolt from the blue for me. I could hear my own heartbeats and feel cold sweats trickling down my temples. A strange throbbing of my temples began shortly.

Who is my father then? I’ve known all along the he is my only family... So was it all false? Untrue...Fake? Who am I then? What am I to him? It was all too much and too sudden for me to bear.

I fell back on the chair that was kept beside the bed.

“That was too much of a shock for ye? Well, that’s the harsh truth. You have to face it, whether you like it or not.”

Someone please tell me he’s drunk! Tell me this is one of his usual drugged ramblings! Please!

“This isn’t any rambling, boy. I’m speaking the truth and I’m not drunk.” He said as if reading my thoughts. “Listen, your parents died a long time ago and left you in my custody. I was a friend of your father. When your mother died right after your birth, your father couldn’t bear it.” he gasped for air and then continued, “He left the city and went north to some monastery. News arrived a few years later that he died during a blizzard but there was no sign of his body. Till date his remains are unfound...”

He paused for a moment or said something but those went over my head which was finding it too tough to absorb what he was saying.

“It’s true that I raised you, but as I ain’t your real father, you mustn’t cry.”

“Shut up!” I snapped. “Just shut up already!”

He didn’t look panicked, sad or angry at all. He was rather calm, quiet and sober.

“I don’t know if you’re drunk or not. Yeah, even if you say you aren’t drunk, I don’t trust you. I don’t know if you’re making this up or simply rambling. I don’t care if you’re my biological father or not but let me tell you one thing very clearly: you’re the only family I have and I’m not gonna give up on you! I’m gonna spend all your money on you if that’s what it takes to get you up and running again!”

I gasped for breath after yelling at him at one go.

“I’m leaving.” I finally caught breath and managed to mumble those words.

I hadn’t even walked two steps when his words brought me to a standstill.

“I haven’t got much time left. I know it. Don’t spend money on an old geezer like me. You might need the money for future.”

I felt like beating him up for that and I’d have done that if the doctor hadn’t bumped into the room at that instant.

“Take care of him...” I turned towards the patient and turning back again I added: “take care of my father, doctor.”

“Don’t worry about that.” the doctor kept his warm hand on my shoulder in a reassuring touch and after feeling it for a second, I walked out of the room without any response.

*****
Sango’s POV

Sleep won’t get me so instead of a back-aching experience in the couch I decided to stand in the balcony.

My apartment might be rundown with most of the insides needing serious repairs but the balcony was anything but. Sure it was a part of it but somehow it didn’t feel like it was. It provided one of the finest views of the city around me. I could see the Higurashi Shrine, my school, my workplace, the hospital, the bank, the park and even the small lake inside the park from there.

I didn’t know for how long I stood there, but it sure was long, for the wind was becoming colder with every passing moment.

“I wonder what he’s doing right now...” subconsciously my mind drifted towards Miroku again.

I’m thinking about him again!? I became fully conscious but that didn’t stop me from slipping back to my subconscious state again.

There was something about Miroku that attracted me. Sure he was handsome, understanding, and had all those qualities that a girl might look for in a boy but I knew there was more to him than met the naked eye. Somehow I felt an odd connection with him, somehow being with him just felt right. And I won’t deny that I like him, not in front of my own self at least.

Are you alone like me, Miroku? Are you? I hung my head low and putting the entire weight of my upper body on my hands which were kept on the railing, I looked at the dark streets below.

“Sango, don’t do that, dear. It’s not safe.”

“Don’t worry, father. Nothing will happen to me.”

Nothing indeed had happened to me that night. Nothing happened to me in the many nights that followed. Months passed, years passed and I was a teenager.

“Sango look after the house okay? I’m going to bring your mother back from the hospital. You might have a brother, little one.”

“I will look after the house father but please don’t call me little one!”

“Ok, ok, I won’t!”

That was the last time I saw my dad in his ‘human’ state. The calm, caring, cheerful and loving man whom my mother and I respected and loved so much changed as he re-entered the house that night.

“Where’s mother?” I had asked.

“She’s dead.” He had replied coldly.

My entire being was brought to a standstill.

Two drops of tears had trickled down my cheeks then and...Two drops again at present rolled down my cheeks and fell to the streets below.

I won’t cry again. The resolve I had made after seeing my newborn baby brother in the hospital was broken finally. The mental barriers which I had erected in all those years had threatened to fall apart for many a times in the recent past. But I had held them together firmly. But when the memories flash back into my mind all my barriers seem to fall apart.

Amends can be made though. And I just did that. I knew they would be temporary but as long as I didn’t show my emotions to anyone, as long as I didn’t show my weakness to anyone, I’d do just fine. I could afford to show my weakness to myself. For I knew inwardly I was fragile.

Wiping away the dry tear marks, I glanced at the road below. No one was there. Who will be there in this dead of the night? I asked myself. And finding the negative answer, I decided to get back to my room and get some sleep.

When I looked down at my wrist for the wrist watch to show the time, my eyes fell upon a figure running in the streets from the direction of the bank to the hospital.

Who could it be? I mentally asked myself.

“What’s my concern anyway?” I shrugged and yawning I left the balcony.

After closing the door and pulling the curtain over it, I checked Kohaku. He was sleeping peacefully.

“Time to sleep I guess...” I thought out loud and walking lazily over to the couch I languidly sank in.

I fell asleep almost instantly...

...To a dreamless sleep, perhaps?

*****
Miroku’s POV

I ran up to the receptionist as I had done the previous time I entered through the glass door.

“My father’s here and he has to be operated upon. I’ve brought the money...where do I deposit it?” I said, with interruptions from heavy breathing at times.

“Your father is Mushin Houshi, right?” she asked not moving her eyes from the computer screen.

“Yeah,” joining my brows in annoyance I replied.

“Deposit the money right here,” she pointed at her desk and then turned towards the computer screen again and began typing in something.

After a minute or so she gave me a slip and phoned someone.

“You can meet you father now. After some minutes his operation will begin.”

I mouthed off a weak thank you and left for the room where my father was kept in.

The room has the usual four occupants – the patient, one doctor and two nurses. Paying no attention to the others in the room I walked over to the patient and seated myself on the chair beside his bed.

I sat there for some moments in silence before he finally began to speak.

“You’ve brought money then?” he weakly asked.

“Yeah...”

“Wanna save this old fellow that badly, Miroku?”

“Yeah I do...”

“Am I that dear to you?”

His idiotic talks were getting to my nerves and so, losing my temper I raised my voice a little. “Listen you old geezer, you’re my father and I love you a lot. I can’t stand seeing you die such a miserable death.”

He allowed himself a feeble smile. With his half closed eyes he examined the room and finally turning towards me he began to say, “These people...” he broke off but began shortly, “Banks...Banks...”

He broke off and fell silent completely.

The doctor was quite near to me and he noticed it. Before I could even call for him he came over and began examining him.

“Get the stretcher; take him to the operation room! We’ve gotta do the operation right now.”

I stood there silently in shock and awe and watched them take away the unconscious Mushin.

I reached the operation room almost at the same time the group of nurses and doctors entered it.
I wasn’t allowed to enter, but I was allowed a seat in one of the chairs in front of the room.

I sank into one of them without any protests and waited for the operation to end.

God, please let him live!

The door opened after some agonizingly long time and the doctor came out having a mask around his mouth, hiding his expressions.

I didn’t look up yet but when I felt his warm hand on my shoulder, I looked up with expectation.

“I’m sorry...I couldn’t save him.” He removed the mask and showed his stoic face.

My prayers had fallen to deaf ears, my expectations dashed to pieces, grinded to dust and swept away by the wind, and my own self was left without a family that I could once call my own.

I was finally all alone...